hold her hand.

•January 28, 2009 • Leave a Comment


and she is frozen inside those moments he captures…

inside a snowglobe that has been shaken.


the woman in me.

•November 16, 2008 • Leave a Comment

I have a bone to pick that I’ve been waiting to pick for a really long time.

Feminism. Scary word, isn’t it? Properly used, it means:

1. Belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.
2. The movement organized around this belief.

But in the past few decades, the term has been twisted around to refer to the militant, extremist, misandrist (yes, ladies, not everyone’s ganging up on women) women in the media who talk about how much they hate men.

So all of a sudden, something that was a positive thing (acknowledging your rights, standing up for yourself, free will) was warped into something shameful, something violent.

It always shocks me when girls or women say that they’re not feminists. I wonder, what do they think it means? Because to me, being a woman and saying that you’re not a feminist is like somebody saying that they don’t believe in human rights. The majority of the people who say this believe that they are equal to men, that they should be able to pick whatever career they want, that they should be paid as much as men and that they should be free to do what they want with their own bodies, but they refuse to own the word feminism. In my opinion, men should term themselves as feminists too. It’s not just a female thing… if you believe that your girlfriend, sister or mother should be equal in the eyes of society, are you not a feminist?

I want to stress the first definition of feminism above. Feminism is about “equality of the sexes”. Equality. It’s not, or at least it shouldn’t be about power. It’s not about “girl power”, or “taking back the power” or demonizing men in any way. I think what scares a lot of men when they think about feminism is that we are trying to take something away from them. That’s not true. Men don’t have to live less for women to live more. That’s just incorrect.

I really get frustrated when women don’t let men have a say in issues of feminism. Because let’s be honest here, women have it a lot better than we used to. Of course there are still double standards, and everything like that, but it’s frustrating to me when women won’t acknowledge the fact that many men suffer because of their gender, too. Saying “oh, you’re a man, you’ve never been oppressed ever” is ignorant. There are many areas where men’s rights are constantly looked over in favour of women’s. For example, Steve was telling me a story about last year when he was watching a football practice. Two naked women streaked across the field and everybody clapped. Then two naked guys ran across. They got tackled, cuffed and escorted away by security, while the women got thumbs up. Now that’s not fair, is it? It’s not just women who suffer. We just suffer in different ways.

Think about it this way: most of the insults that guys use against other guys are about women or gays. They’re either called, pussies, fags, or any other synonym and variation under the sun. Traits that are seen as undesirable in men are those that are generally associated with women. So don’t you think that if men got a little bit more respect for women, they would make things a little easier on themselves too? All of a sudden female traits wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Just a thought.

I think since I can see the other side of the spectrum, I would prefer to -ugh- “label” myself as a humanist rather than a feminist. Everybody should be able to live their lives in a way that makes them happy, without needing to live up to the proper standard of a man or a woman. This includes being a stay-at-home mom (or dad) without reprimand from working women for not living up to their true potential, being a working woman without fearing reprimand from stay-at-home moms for not being maternal enough, having sex with whomever you want without being labeled as a slut, not having sex with anybody without being labeled as a prude or a tease, being able to stand up for yourself without being called a bitch etc. etc. This also includes crying without being labeled a pussy, having a drink that actually tastes good without being labeled a fag, or having your feelings hurt without somebody saying “don’t get blood on the chair”. It’s people like that, the labelers, the accusers, who make this world so difficult to be yourself in.

I wish people would think more critically sometimes… I know it’s hard, but I just wish that for once, we could see somebody who is happy with themselves and just be happy for them instead of looking to see what’s wrong with them. We’re all wonderful! What’s so wrong with that?


•November 15, 2008 • 1 Comment

kill off all my demons and my angels might die too. – Tennessee Williams